Do They Know It's Christmas?
by Chelsea Oz
Summary: A collection of thoughts from Scout, Atticus, Jem, and Dill on Christmas Eve night. Set during WW2. Chapters will most likely be short and sweet.
1. Chapter 1

**Scout**

The raindrops outside landed heavily on my window and with each thud, they stabbed me in the brain and right through to my senses. No matter how many times the lightning flashed in my eyes, the thunder would make me jump. Why does Alabama have such stupid winter weather? Why can't we just have snow like normal people up North do? I bet their pretty snow is much more quiet than this rain and from all the christmas carols I hear, it's actually enjoyable to be in.

I'm sitting here playing with this snow globe that Uncle Jack bought me many a Christmas ago from Nashville. I always loved shaking it hard only to watch the little white flakes gently fall on the colorful christmas town below. How I wish I could be in there. Maybe I would be in a Christmas mood.

It's hard to be in any kind of happy mood anymore. Jem is off fighting in Europe along with Hank and Dill and I can't believe the dull ache that lingers within me daily. I knew it would be hard to say goodbye but it turns out that was the easy part; now they're gone and I'm left wondering if I will ever say hello again. I can't let my thoughts of them go beyond the fears I have for myself in dealing with this. If I took the time to sit down and really think of what they're going through, I would go insane.

I look out the window and breathe a heavy sigh. Here it is, Christmas Eve night and I'm left with stormy weather and depressing thoughts. Not even shaking the snow globe could literally shake me out of my melancholy. Oh Jem, Dill, and Hank, do you guys know it's Christmas? Is it snowing? Are you guys cold? Do you Jean Louise is crying right now?

I slam the snow globe down on my nightstand and instantly regretted it because I had forgotten how fragile it is. Nothing happened though. It just kept snowing. Maybe that was my sign that everything was fine and it would be fine. I wiped my eyes and finally pulled my covers around me. It wouldn't be long before I slipped into the winter wonderland that my subconscious created just for me...


	2. Slip Slidin' Away (Atticus)

_**Atticus**_

 _The bright lights shine red, gold, and green. It makes me think all was warm and good. I can hear Jem laughing in the background, in another room somewhere. I inhale the warmth and sweetness of freshly baked bread and cookies. I hear the gramophone play Christmas carols and I can see my wife spin my baby daughter around._

" _Just hear those sleigh bells jingling.." Jean sings to Scout as she bounces her on her shoulder. Scout laughs; she loves these moments with her mother._

" _Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you."_

 _Jean stops singing long enough to give Scout a kiss._

" _Jeremy," Calpurnia scolds. "Don't you lick that spoon yet!"_

" _Oh, Cal," Jean giggles and shouts. "Let him! You're only young once."_

What a thing for my wife to say. Did she ever know how much weight her words would carry? I miss her so much. She loved Christmas time. She was everything Christmas should be: warm, happy, and bright. This time of year has never, ever been the same since she died.

It's too quiet now. It's just me and my daughter at home this year. Alexandra went up to the Landing to get ready for tomorrow's dinner and gift exchanging while Jack is spending the night with Maudie. My boy is in Europe, fighting in yet another global war. It's hard not knowing if he's all right most days.

The moment my mind wanders to Jem is the same time I can hear Scout begin to cry. I don't go to her anymore. I know exactly why she's crying and I know there is no way I can comfort her. I can't even do it for myself most of the time and she knows it. The father and the man I've worked so hard to become is slip sliding away. I miss him, but I just don't have the energy to bring him back.

"You're okay, Scout," I whisper into the night as soon as I hear her stop crying. "I love you. Please forgive me."

God, if there ever will be a Christmas miracle, please let it be that she heard me.


	3. Last Christmas (Jem)

**Jem**

" _Are you excited tomorrow is Christmas?" Mama asked me when I was five years old._

" _Yeah, mama," I replied. Of course I was excited. What five year old boy wouldn't be?_

" _I'm excited, too. I love Christmas."_

" _Even though Santa doesn't bring you any presents anymore?"_

" _I don't need Santa to bring me presents to make me happy it's Christmas," Mama chuckled._

" _What does make you happy about Christmas, Mama?"_

" _You," she said as she gave my tummy a tickle. I can still see her tickling my tummy as I lied in my bed that Christmas night. My sheets, my pajamas, and my mother's nightgown smelled like the Alabama winter air. Mama would hang the laundry out to dry any day anytime the sun was shining, no matter if it were January or July._

" _C'mon, Mama," I replied, laughing._

" _I mean it," she said as she began to stroke my hair instead. "You make me happy; your father and your sister make me happy; the music and the cooking make me happy…"_

" _I like the cooking, too," I agreed. It made Mama laugh._

" _You sure do have a big appetite for a little boy," she commented as she gave my cheek a kiss and wrapped the covers around me._

" _Good night, Mama," I said, pretending to be sleepy._

" _Good night, darling," she said as she got up to turn off the light. "I love you."_

" _I love you, too," I replied as soon as my room went dark._

My whole world has gone dark. I lay on my army cot in the middle of our army camp in the middle of England. The winter air is harsh and unfriendly; not at all like Alabama's. I look up at the sky and realize that the stars are out at least. I noticed one of them right above me blinked.

"Mama," I whispered out loud. "Is that you?"

I began to cry at that moment. I want my mother so bad. I want to go home and have Christmas with her. I would buy her presents, sing with her, and I would even learn to bake her favorite butter cookies. Those butter cookies were always left for Santa and I would always steal one off of his plate. I never got caught and Santa never seemed to mind; no lump of coal was left for me. Cal hasn't made them since her death and I can't believe I just let that slide because they were really good cookies.

A blood red ball of energy flashed before my eyes. It wasn't a bomb or a bullet, but a spirit. I am not scared at all. I can faintly hear bells jingling. I may be having a psychotic break but I feel happy for once.

"Merry Christmas, Mama," I whisper. "I love you."


	4. This I Promise You (Dill)

**Dill**

" _You ain't a guy's guy, are you?" Jem asked._

 _It had been a long time since him and I saw each other face-to-face. I moved to New York City with my mother when she got married again. Scout and I were nine years old and Jem was thirteen. I promised Scout and Jem that I would write them as often as I could but to not expect me to visit Alabama again for a very long time. It broke my heart to see Scout cry as she hugged me goodbye one last time. I whispered in her ear that I loved her and that everything was going to be all right._

 _Well, years go by, and the letters grew further and further apart, and the world kept getting worse and worse. Before the war broke out, I knew I was different; the older I got, the more and more attracted to boys I became. I had no interest in courting females at all. Now, I don't know if it was the people I spent my teenage years with or if it was the city I spent my teenage years in or some of both, but I didn't find it sinful. It really wasn't until I enlisted in the army that I began to feel funny about it. Some men must have known right off the bat and I saw the way they looked at me. I got really uncomfortable when I had the chance to bunk in the infantry with Jem Finch and Hank Clinton from back home. Not because I was attracted to them (especially not Hank), but because they were from "back home". Who knew how they would react?_

" _Yes," I finally admitted to Jem. "I am a homosexual."_

 _I held my breath while Jem just looked at me. I silently waited for him to say something, anything, but he didn't. He just kind of smirked and took a swig of his beer ration._

" _You're thinking about your sister, aren't you?"_

" _How'd you know?" He chuckled as he took another swig._

" _I still love your sister, Jem."_

" _I never thought you didn't."_

" _Let me ask you something. .."_

" _Shoot."_

" _Are Scout and Hank together?"_

" _Kind of, but not really."_

" _You better watch out for her."_

 _Jem shot me a "wow" look and I wondered if I had stuck my foot in my mouth._

" _I'm sorry."_

" _Dill," he laughed. "You think I don't know the real reason Hank wants to be with my sister?"_

" _New York has special choice words for social climbers like that."_

 _Jem busted out laughing like he hadn't laughed since he was a kid. His belly laugh is so sweet and contagious that you can't help but laugh, too. Childhood came back if only for that one moment._

So, I'm here in a separate infantry on Christmas Eve night smiling to myself about my two best friends from back home. I thanked the Lord that I'm actually able to smile during this horrible time for the world. I look up and see a single snowflake fall from the sky and I feel it land on my cheek. I touch the damp spot on my face with my finger. An image comes to mind of Scout crying and I all of a sudden feel connected to her as the snow begins to fall around me.

"I love you, Scout," I whisper into the night. "Everything's going to be all right. Go to sleep."


End file.
